Learning about children’s behaviour
Excerpt from
Everyday Learning Series
Published by Early Childhood Australia
 Children’s behaviour is one of the most common things that parents worry
about. Children aren’t born knowing what behaviour is wanted and what
behaviour is not wanted and, in fact, this varies depending on where you
live in the world and which family you live in. So we need to teach children
about behaviour, just as we need to teach them about talking and getting
dressed and all the other things in their lives. Sometimes, because behaviour problems can worry parents, the way they
teach about behaviour is not as positive as the way they teach other things
—it can end up as simply trying to stop children doing things, rather than
teaching what they need to learn. The way we teach behaviour is what makes the difference. Teaching with
love and understanding, and with respect for their feelings and needs, is
the most likely way to achieve what we want for children. Teaching about behaviour is more than just helping children to learn what
they need to do to be safe and be part of the community they live in; it is
also about ‘listening’ to what the behaviour is saying about the child’s needs
and feelings. Teaching and listening must go together. Listening to behaviour is harder than listening to words, but it is just as
important because behaviour is the way that very young children communicate.
“The way we teach behaviour
is what makes the difference.Teaching with love and
understanding, and with respect for their feelings and
needs, is the most likely way to achieve what we want
for children.”
Children’s behaviour
With babies and very young
children, what they do (behaviour) is the only way they
have to let us know how they feel and what they need.
Young babies don’t do this consciously; they just respond
to inner signals that tell them they are hungry or frightened
or in pain—so they cry. Or they feel comfortable, and
they smile or look relaxed. Or they are interested in
their world, and they look alert and reach out to people
and things. As they grow to be toddlers and into childhood, they learn to use words to express feelings and
needs, but they still show them through behaviour as well. So when we, as adults, respond to children’s
behaviour, we need to be thinking about what it means to the child as well as what it means to us. Responding to behaviour
How adults respond to young children’s behaviour is the way children learn to manage feelings
and to relate to other people. These are some of the most important things they need to learn
about getting on in the world they live in.
Some people call responding to behaviour ‘behaviour
management’ and others call it ‘discipline’.
Discipline means to teach, and teaching is the role of parents and adults in helping children to learn
about managing feelings and relationships. Learning about these things takes many years, and requires
patience and understanding from the adults who care for children. Continued: |
